If you are the one who wants to stop a divorce you will have to convince your spouse to give the relationship another try. This sounds completely logical but it is the very first simple fact you have to understand. Of course it isn’t always possible to convince your divorce minded spouse to give the relationship another try but it is imperative if you want any chance of stopping a divorce. You can stop a divorce at any stage, such as just before the paperwork is filed or even just before the paperwork is approved by the courts. But the earlier you stop a divorce the more likely that it won’t be brought up again.
To reiterate, convincing your spouse to give your relationship another go around is the very beginning process to stop a divorce. But this does not mean continuous begging to your spouse. If you have been doing that it is time to stop. You may be thinking that you need to do a lot of begging to get the point across as if the more begging the more it will wear down their resistance. The chances are, your begging is just getting more on their nerves and making them want the Divorce even more. No one wants to be around someone who seems to be unsure of themselves or needy.
Your best move is to explain in calm terms why you don’t want the divorce and you would like another chance at the relationship. If you can demonstrate some maturity in your behavior and remain calm it might surprise your spouse and help stop a divorce.
Any screaming or angry actions will not help your chances. Your divorce minded spouse already knows you don’t want the divorce. Your goal is to just make him or her realize how sad you are about it. You will be surprised how your mature actions will change your spouse’s behavior and thinking.
Another way to show your spouse that you are being mature about the situation is to suggest marital counseling. Although some people are against it, counseling has worked for many thousands of couples. Your relationship can benefit from it as well. You will have to get your significant other to agree to the counseling and that may not be so easy at first. But if you have them convinced to try again then it will not be hard. While counseling is taking place you will have even more time to convince them of the stupidity of divorce and the value of giving the relationship another chance.
While you are in counseling you can have the opportunity to figure out why you fell in love with each other in the fist place. You and your spouse will have time to think of the reasons you got together. For you to stop divorce you should show an honest effort to deal with the problems mentioned during counseling. Hopefully this will convince your partner that you are mature enough and concerned about resolving previous marital problems. This should convince him or her to stop a divorce, at least temporarily if not permanently.
If you do succeed at stopping a divorce, it is important to keep in mind that your divorce minded spouse will always feel that they can always begin to file once again for divorce if need be. It is easy for some people to change their mind back and forth quickly. This means you should be aware of the state of your relationship at all times and make an effort to keep the relationship healthy. Having a good relationship permanently is better than having to stop a divorce temporarily several times.
Mark Jordan
http://www.articlesbase.com/divorce-articles/stop-a-divorce-before-your-spouse-moves-on-746567.html
Is my spouse depressed?
My husband was the best father and spouse I could ask for but a little over a year ago things started to spiral down and FAST… here are some thing that have happened
So I wrote my whole story and it was far to long so I am going to make bullet point
* Started abandoning the family to hang out with old High School Friends. He said it was an escape for him but then would cry (NOT a cryer) because of what he was doing to the family but said he couldn’t stop himself.
* Made very irrational decisions… that he would have NEVER made before
* Would go to counseling and we would be getting on good grounds but then he would go right back into the abandoning/crying stage
*Quit his great job at a prestigious University as a Grant Accountant
*Spent unreasonable amounts of money on nothing
* He doesn’t do any drugs nor does he cheat when he would be out with his friends (drank some) but no longer see’s them at all. In fact his best friend has not spoken to him in months.
*Then (since he has no job) has had to pawn valuable items
* Has now completely isolated himself and says the only person he talks to is me and that is at best minimal
* Is currently homeless but refuses to move back home with me because he says everything feels hopeless (his words are he see’s no light in his darkness)
* Just today he didn’t show up for my birthday and this was his reasoning "I dont have the heart to face you…..Im nothing….i dont have anything to give you on your b-day….it really hit me that i dont deserve anything from you not your money, time, effort, ….nothing….I had a dream…..I LOVE YOU SO MUCH….but I can’t come to grips with myself. I know you forgive me I cant forgive myself. I want forgive myself and just come home….but I cant……I dont deserve to…..it haunts me every night"
If someone could give me some guidance. Divorce is not an option!! Is he Depressed? Is this normal depression behavior? Is there anything I can say/do? Thanks for reading this…
CLC- He is living in his car… so not technically on the streets. With the economy the way it is, even with his degree he can’t find a job. Thanks for the B-Day love
Mr. S- He had just been promoted and it was a very stressful job… These are all diff events that have happen within the year but yes the weird behaviors did start all of a sudden. We talk on a regular basis and we both discuss the way we feel about it all. He says he wants to come home, he is just very scared. He knows now more than ever why he loves me… I have stuck with him through it all… I am the only person still around and I am the one making sure he is eating. I am just in over my head. I feel so sorry for him. We have two daughters (4 and 2) and they are actually doing very well *patting myself on the back* They miss their daddy but he comes around and see’s them. We also have taken quit a few family trips to theme parks throughout the year for them. Thanks for asking
He is definitely depressed, but there is an inner problem inside of him. He needs to do counseling not go to classes. He needs to be able to cope with you. He is homeless? Like living on the street? Seems like he had a good job and just abandoned it all of a sudden. This is very odd. He had a mental breakdown of some sort. Man, quite odd I really don’t know what to say. I am sorry? Happy birthday though! I hope everything turns out well for you! :X
References :
Did you try to backtrack? Did this behavior happen all of a sudden one year ago? Is there anything specific that might have had this life changing impact? Did you try finding him and sitting down to talk with him? Be sincere when you talk to him, approach him and start off slow with questions. Make him think back to why he loved you in the first place.
I’m sorry this is happening to you, I hope I helped and I hope you and your husband get back on your feet.
Also I must add, how is your child feel about this? You did not mention him too much.
References :
Wow. That’s kinda’ weird.
I"m not a mental health professional but it sounds like some kind of psychotic depression.
It’s strange.
You need to try and get him to see a good psychiatrist…and I mean a very good one…you can’t afford to waste time or chances with him, I think. Something is not at all right with him…maybe his mom and dad can help?
Happy Birthday…and God Bless You. Hope this gets straightened out.
He might be bipolar too…it could be something else.
Are you absolutely certain he’s not doing drugs? People can get hooked on doing crack and totally flip out like this. Was he spending money buy you did not know where it was going?
This sounds krazy but maybe you should hire a private investigator to follow him around for a couple days to see what he’s up to. (for his own good)
References :