That is, acting as mediator between the two opposing partners to:
1)Save money
2)Make for a more amiable divorce
3)Keep the nastiness out of court
My husband and I are currently separated. We’ve been married for 17 yrs and have three kids. This lawyer, who had agreed to do this, is a mutual classmate from college days. So we both know her, but I for one haven’t seen her since those days. We were not friends in college but we were civil. Her roommate on the other hand used, to date my husband before I did. I don’t know if this lawyer is in touch with her friend.
She approached my husband about this mediator thing. She would act as lawyer for both of us. Should I trust her? Do you this is a good solution and has anyone ever done this before?
My husband has a lot of ghosts in the closet that he may not want to expose in court. He knows I have no income so maybe playing that against me as well. He has an arrest record for hitting me and he has a serious addiction to porn.
No, you should not trust her!
A mediator can be a good thing. A mediator is, in most cases, a lawyer but is not actually representing either party. A mediator in an unbiased party and is there to help you and your husband work out terms for property division; debt division; alimoney; child support; child custody, etc. It can save money to work through a mediator.
An attorney cannot adequately represent both parties. There is no way a Divorce like you will have will be resolved with an agreement equally fair. It’s going to be unfair (maybe just slightly) to one party. You don’t want to get the short end of the stick.
It sounds like your husband and his friend want to bully you into settling the divorce as cheaply as possible—-for your husband. If you agree to this, you are making a HUGE mistake.
A LAWYER MAY NOT REPRESENT BOTH PARTIES AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!! you need to consult your own attorney and go forward with the process. if you rely on the others attorney to do it for you, YOU WILL GET SCREWED!!!! i cannot emphasize this enough. find your own council and proceed according to his/her directions.
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In divorce, it’s wise for each to have their own attorneys working in their own behalf. One attorney for both will not be able to be objective enough to do the right thing for both. Opposing attorney’s will sometimes call in an outside mediator to try to avoid court but it doesn’t always work especially when you have the issues you do with your husband. Divorce situations like yours are rarely amicable.
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Not really a safe thing here representing both parties. Attorneys and Paralegals have acted as mediators only if they are impartial to the case and cannot favor either side. I have done this plenty of times. If you go thru with this arrangement please be careful and you do have the right to stop it at any time and the right to seperate counsel too.
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Florida Paralegal with a BS degree in Social-Pyschology
Yes some people do use mediators however you should make the request to the court for a mediator. Do not use someone you know or are aquinted with.
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No, you should not trust her!
A mediator can be a good thing. A mediator is, in most cases, a lawyer but is not actually representing either party. A mediator in an unbiased party and is there to help you and your husband work out terms for property division; debt division; alimoney; child support; child custody, etc. It can save money to work through a mediator.
An attorney cannot adequately represent both parties. There is no way a divorce like you will have will be resolved with an agreement equally fair. It’s going to be unfair (maybe just slightly) to one party. You don’t want to get the short end of the stick.
It sounds like your husband and his friend want to bully you into settling the divorce as cheaply as possible—-for your husband. If you agree to this, you are making a HUGE mistake.
References :