Archive for November, 2009
Recently I was asked ‘Divorce is damaging to society and is to easy to get’. What do you think about this? Do you feel that divorce is easy to get and is damaging. How would you view this point?
I think it is way too easy to get and it is too easy to get married. People should go through counseling before marriage and again if they try to Divorce. Divorce damages everyone involved, the two in the marriage and any children that are around.
My friend recommended a divorce lawyer, but she is located in NY, could I use her considering I live in NJ now?… what about Divorce mediators? My ex-to-be and I don’t "hate" each other, and I think we want the same things.. is it easier to use a mediator? any advice is welcome- this is all very new to me. (serious help only)
You need to look into the laws for your state but typically where ever you lay your head down a t night is where you have to file for Divorce at!
* if you and you husband can sit down and talk rationally don’t waste your money on a mediator
If you have a contract with an attorney to resolve a land dispute and payment was made in full as agreed,and now he tell’s you you must pay extra for a mediator and and he will be asking for more money as case goes on.He gave you a set fee for his services and it was paid in full at that time and you have taped recorded proof,and mind you that this case is in the state of Texas,where I have been told that on recording you only need a one party consent. Thanks Jinny
You are in a bind. If, when, you let the attorney know that you have such a recording, then he or she will be less happy to represent you properly. On the other hand, when the attorney demands more fees and payments, and you do not come through or balk at paying these, then the attorney can be less than stellar in representing your best interests. Either way, it is difficult. No matter, it is common practice that either you pay a flat fee or charges as they happen (like by the hour). Either way, if the attorney has outside expenses, those are passed along to the client. This would be true especially for a mediator.
A friend of mine just filed for divorce in the end of March; both her and her husband agreed and the Divorce should be final in 3 months as there was nothing to fight over. She has been separated from her husband for 1 year already out of their 3 year marriage due to some infidelity on his part. During their separation period, she met and got engaged to someone else. She is currently planning her wedding to this gentleman. So, how soon after her divorce is finalized can she apply to re-marry? Thanks for any advice.
As soon as she gets the divorce certificate.
This is for an essay for school and I am having trouble thinking of a solution to Single parents.
Melanie has it right. I agree with her as a single Mom. I guess I was a "dumb" one who married young (21) but I waited for several years to have kids, but I married a man with Peter Pan syndrome who refused to grow up and stop his partying ways. After kids he would be "good’ for a time but then he would back at it, drugs, spending money extravagantly, quitting jobs at a whim. After 10 years I finally had enough (when he began having affairs). Is this the life I wanted for my 2 boys and I? NO WAY!. I recognize my own fault in marrying young, not completing my college eduaction (I did get as far as a 2-year Associates Degree) and marrying someone with absolutely no moral compass. I have spent the better part of 9 years trying to undo the damage and raise my boys as godly men and by avoiding more toxic relationships. Would I like a husband and father-figure to share life with — Absoultely! but I won’t just pick anyone this time around!
To stop single parenting we need to first educate women that they must get an education and means to support themselves FIRST before kids and marriage … sex education and moral direction that it’s not OK to have sex with everyone you date or have children out of wedlock… Whether you are Christian or not this is a question of morality and personal safety (STDs and HIV/AIDS).
We also need to teach our men to be responsible decent men and fathers. We need men to relearn morality… and committment to their families.. No more deadbeat dads getting free passes to go on and produce more and more kids they take no responsbility for – shattering lives in the process and producing a new generatino of broken men…
Men who abandon and cheat are slugs – as are women who do the same. These men learned this behavior somewhere and it’s accepted in our culture. Need to stop accepting this… We need to teach men moral responsbility to fend and protect and take care of their wives and offspring — geez even animals provide for their young… (it also goes the same for women who cheat or abdandon although that is a miniority of cases).
It’s about family values and taking responsbility for your actions. Marriage is tough but you decided to do it so it’s your responsibility to make it work. Obvious exception for drugs and alcohol or physical abusers. These are people I would advise any spouse to run from because they are dangerous.
We need to stop accepting out of wedlock births as the norm and the same goes for the live-in arrangements so many couples share – where women live this guy and this guy and having multiple children by all…. the guys just leaving and taking no responsbility fincially or emotionally and women just popping out more and more kids with the next fellow in line.
I guess the root cause is just because something is the norm or accepted these days doesn’ t make it right, morally sound or healthy for us as a society.
I agree children are better off in a healthy single parent family rather than an abusive two-parents family. But would I never encourage or brag about being single Mom — no way. It’s been a rough road and i am proud of the changes I have effected in my life but I wuld not wish it on anyone or on the children.
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